I haven't blogged in like three years-more like a month but hyperbole always makes things more interesting-and I was touched that some people noticed and asked me why. You don't know this but I was blushing internally...you know...'cause I don't know how to blush (plus I'm too dark for my skin to change colour...unless I get sunburn). So yesterday as I was on my way home at an ungodly hour from doing things that may or may not be considered immoral in my religion I was thinking about what I should blog about. This doesn't ever happen mostly because my posts are the babies of my random thoughts so I REALLY thought about this. THEN something happened right outside the gate of my estate that made me laugh so hard that I have to share it...
Time- 11ish p.m.
Venue- the stretch between my estate and the next stage (like 20m long.)
Reason for being there- STUPID matatu passed my estate because there were too many people in the mat and I couldn't get to the kange in time. We were squashed into that matatu like sijui those kukus for shags and we still paid 50bob!NKT!I'll rant about this some other time.
story:I don't know how many of you have read a book called 'The Secret'. Its some motivational book about how if you want something bad enough and think about it and blablabla the universe will give it to you. It sounds like some hippy nonsense and honestly I think 'the universe' is just a name for everything that exists but there IS some truth to it... if you replace 'the universe' with God and 'think' with pray :)
I have to start from about a week ago. I was broke and whining (its my thing)about how I need a steady source of income. I don't think I have any exploitable talents (apparently sarcasm doesn't pay very well. Who knew) so I gave up thinking about it and declared to the people sitting next to me in class that I want a sugar-daddy. I was not being serious. Not really anyway. And I don't think I thought about it thaaaat much but last night I think the universe was trying to deliver me a sugar-daddy. It was kinda scary but funny. So I got out of mat pissed that I had to walk 20m instead of 2 doing my angry walk-we all have one- then as I was walking to my estate this car (prado. Eish. Enyewe universe ilijaribu!)starts slowing down behind me. I thought the driver was turning into another estate but the guy rolls down the window and starts asking me where I'm going. I freaked out, but the thing about me is I have no 'flight' reflexes. I just can't run. It's been scientifically proven. I just told him (while increasing my pace) that I'm almost home. Then he starts asking if he can give me a lift, why I'm going home so early, do I want to go somewhere else...AIIIIIIII!!!!!WTF!NO!I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE! That was in my mind. Out loud I spoke considering the fact that the guy is in a large car and could easily run me over if I pissed him off.Plus, there would be no witnesses. So I politely declined his offer and said I'm already home. That did not stop him from following me to the gate with more questions. I have never been so happy to see our watchmen. I almost hugged them. So yeah. This post is to formally announce to the universe that I WAS JOKING. NO MORE SUGAR-DADDIES PLEASE. Now I should just ask the universe for money directly...hehe...
sidebar: yesterday my class had its first girl-fight. Aaaw. We're growing! :D It honestly made my day! That and the person I may or may not have been doing immoral things with ;)
