I love rain. I don't mean El-nino-esque situations (too many hyphens?), I mean light showers...a hint of thunder, a couple of women running around with paper-bags on their heads... I'm a cloudy weather kind of person. The sun is nice but sunny weather is overrated. And sweaty. That's one of the reasons I love November- other reasons involve a blessing bestowed upon the earth in the form of a baby girl, sent to earth to shine the light of her smile into the hearts of mankind. Yes, I was born in November :)
On to the complaint. This is the 21st century. How do we let little drops of water from the sky dictate our lives? The moment clouds appear to gather all hell breaks loose. Matatus start charging as if the rain will make them take a detour to Lodwar first, people (especially women) become violent, everyone rushes out of their offices -ironically- to beat the traffic jams that they cause by all rushing out at the same time and then the traffic cops show up. Traffic cops. I have a 'the chicken or the egg' dilemma with them. I'm not sure if jams cause them to show up or if jams happen because they showed up.
Then there's the issue of the blackouts. Our electrical systems don't seem to be able to withstand certain amounts of rain. This is mildly insane as the climate generally follows the same pattern year after year...we know what kind of rain we're going to have and when we'll have it but KPLC of KPC- or whatever our electrical company wants to call itself- seems to think we should just keep praying to the rain gods that it will only drizzle that year. UPGRADE!!! Instead of paying for adverts (I always go back to the ads) which you don't need, seeing as you're our sole supplier of electricity, use the money to UPGRADE. And what's this nonsense with the pre-paid meters? Its like a homeless person buying an i-phone. Deal with the important issues first. I can't be having black-outs for the whole day. I'm a modern woman. I have stuff that needs googling.There's a country where the minister for energy(of wherever electricity falls) was forced to resign after a blackout... I'm just saying.
So. Rain is our friend, I hate KPC and November is the best month of the year :) (Yes, yes...October technically hasn't ended yet but I believe November isn't usually given enough time)
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
False advertising
I've had a couple of posts about Kenyan advertising but this one is the one closest to my heart. The hating shall occur in 3 parts;
1; the kiosk/kibanda
We all have this ka-shop near our estate/school/place of work that sells cheap food. This is not a fancy place. It is pocket friendly, mabati and wood make up the decor and the food is not for the weak of stomach. I don't mind these places as I am quite, as they say, 'hood' but I find it so funny when these places have pictures of ice-cream sundaes, pizzas and burgers. WHY are you putting up pictures of that food when you're serving people limp cabbage and yellow-ish ugali?? Are you trying to make people feel bad? Take a picture of your funny looking ndengu with its many stones and hang it up there instead of downloading the first thing you saw on google. Liars.
2.The salon/barber shop
I know for a fact that Beyonce does not do her hair near afya centre. Why do you have her picture hanging outside your salon? This may be the reason for so many bad weaves in Nairobi. People go in with high expectations only to leave looking like poodles. Take a picture of work that you've actually done, it makes more sense. I know for a fact that most girls like getting their picture taken. It wouldn't be too hard to convince someone to be your hair model.
3.The passport size photo place
These ones seem to like Chris Brown because yes, of course Chris Brown would go downtown for passport size photos. It doesn't make sense to me that your sample pictures are of people who may not even know where Nairobi is. Yes its a nice picture but you didn't take it. How am I supposed to trust your work when you don't have enough faith in it to use it in your advertising?I think American celebs would find it interesting to walk around town, it would be a strange experience for them. Close to omniscience :D
1; the kiosk/kibanda
We all have this ka-shop near our estate/school/place of work that sells cheap food. This is not a fancy place. It is pocket friendly, mabati and wood make up the decor and the food is not for the weak of stomach. I don't mind these places as I am quite, as they say, 'hood' but I find it so funny when these places have pictures of ice-cream sundaes, pizzas and burgers. WHY are you putting up pictures of that food when you're serving people limp cabbage and yellow-ish ugali?? Are you trying to make people feel bad? Take a picture of your funny looking ndengu with its many stones and hang it up there instead of downloading the first thing you saw on google. Liars.
2.The salon/barber shop
I know for a fact that Beyonce does not do her hair near afya centre. Why do you have her picture hanging outside your salon? This may be the reason for so many bad weaves in Nairobi. People go in with high expectations only to leave looking like poodles. Take a picture of work that you've actually done, it makes more sense. I know for a fact that most girls like getting their picture taken. It wouldn't be too hard to convince someone to be your hair model.
3.The passport size photo place
These ones seem to like Chris Brown because yes, of course Chris Brown would go downtown for passport size photos. It doesn't make sense to me that your sample pictures are of people who may not even know where Nairobi is. Yes its a nice picture but you didn't take it. How am I supposed to trust your work when you don't have enough faith in it to use it in your advertising?I think American celebs would find it interesting to walk around town, it would be a strange experience for them. Close to omniscience :D
Monday, October 8, 2012
Hairology
This post is a bit heavier than my usual ones so if you want to laugh...go to the next post :). This is what happens when I blog in the middle of the night *spooky noises* (This blog is awesome. Which other blog will give you such amazing sound effects???)
Due to some walldropping -one of my made up words- on facebook (I am not proud...but we've all clicked on a link that wasn't meant for us, am I right?) I discovered something that's been right under our noses...something that could shake the very foundations of our beliefs as Africans. A discovery that will forever change the way we view life. What is this discovery? Hang on... *suspense-y noises* ( I don't know what they are but they must exist) this post is called hairology so I have to explain that first THEN come back to the discovery. I promise they are related.
The link was to a website about black girls getting back to their roots (literally) and growing back their natural hair i.e. operation ditch the perm. It's something I've been considering so I read a couple of articles and they had some really good info ...but there's something unnerving that stood out in many of the posts. My decision to 'go natural' is mostly for financial(I am poor) and time-saving(I have no time for salons) purposes but from the articles I read its like black girls NEED to be convinced that their natural hair is ok. As in this going natural thing is seriously a revolution(trust me to unwittingly stumble into one). There's a particular jargon associated with it, testimonies, encouragement, the whole package. Personally I think its weird that we have to have a revolution for us to do something which is meant to come to us naturally. When did we get to this point where we have to be told that its possible to keep natural hair? When did we start thinking that we got 'stuck with the bad hair'? Obviously if you treat your hair like a white girl it will break like a nonsense because you may think you're white, but your hair knows better. We don't have to copy everything that's thrown at us.
I'm not saying we all have beautiful hair. Some people just have bad hair, but it's not dependent on race. If you're one of those its ok. These days people make very realistic hair, you can go buy some. I'm not saying its bad to experiment, go try all the colours, chemicals and feathers (I've been seeing them in people's hair of late) you want. I'm just saying don't do it to escape the fact that you're black. We are so self loathing that we have to be told that we are fine the way God made us. We've let other people set standards for our beauty, and we try so hard to get to them without ever wondering what was so wrong with us in the first place.
So what was the discovery? I discovered that its ok to be black.
Due to some walldropping -one of my made up words- on facebook (I am not proud...but we've all clicked on a link that wasn't meant for us, am I right?) I discovered something that's been right under our noses...something that could shake the very foundations of our beliefs as Africans. A discovery that will forever change the way we view life. What is this discovery? Hang on... *suspense-y noises* ( I don't know what they are but they must exist) this post is called hairology so I have to explain that first THEN come back to the discovery. I promise they are related.
The link was to a website about black girls getting back to their roots (literally) and growing back their natural hair i.e. operation ditch the perm. It's something I've been considering so I read a couple of articles and they had some really good info ...but there's something unnerving that stood out in many of the posts. My decision to 'go natural' is mostly for financial(I am poor) and time-saving(I have no time for salons) purposes but from the articles I read its like black girls NEED to be convinced that their natural hair is ok. As in this going natural thing is seriously a revolution(trust me to unwittingly stumble into one). There's a particular jargon associated with it, testimonies, encouragement, the whole package. Personally I think its weird that we have to have a revolution for us to do something which is meant to come to us naturally. When did we get to this point where we have to be told that its possible to keep natural hair? When did we start thinking that we got 'stuck with the bad hair'? Obviously if you treat your hair like a white girl it will break like a nonsense because you may think you're white, but your hair knows better. We don't have to copy everything that's thrown at us.
I'm not saying we all have beautiful hair. Some people just have bad hair, but it's not dependent on race. If you're one of those its ok. These days people make very realistic hair, you can go buy some. I'm not saying its bad to experiment, go try all the colours, chemicals and feathers (I've been seeing them in people's hair of late) you want. I'm just saying don't do it to escape the fact that you're black. We are so self loathing that we have to be told that we are fine the way God made us. We've let other people set standards for our beauty, and we try so hard to get to them without ever wondering what was so wrong with us in the first place.
So what was the discovery? I discovered that its ok to be black.
Monday, October 1, 2012
sexy oil?I think not!
Again, I have misled you with my title (mwahahaha!). This is not a post about...whatever you thought it was going to be about. Its another one about adverts that don't make sense to me. These 2 ads are not bad per se...they just seem unrelated to the products they're selling. Cooking oil and sanitary towels are NEVER EVER meant to be sexy. You just can't do that. You can't allow me to think its an ad for condoms right up to the end then spring every day products which should NEEEEEVER EEEEVER be thought of in a sexual context.(EVER)
1. stripper pads (Yes, yes man who is reading this blog, I said pads. Get over it.)
I've only seen this ad once so I'm just hoping and trusting that the stupidity of the human race is at a constant and not -as previously thought- increasing. This ad features a very attractive woman stripping. It's a really short ad and they show what they call 'tasteful nudity' so you don't really see anything but you know she's taking off her clothes...then the ad ends and they say the brand name of the pads. That's it. I'm not an expert. Maybe the strippers were converting to tampons. I have no idea. I just think the ad is stupid.It's a stripper, then its sanitary towels.
2.sexy oil
If I wore a hat I'd take it off to the guys who came up with the ad...then throw it at them. It has everything. A woman who appears to really REALLY like tomatoes, a man who likes to watch her like tomatoes, a rather large fish getting spanked, water and oil flying everywhere, weird facial expressions...then suddenly they're on a beach and guess what, they were advertising cooking oil. I honestly did not know cooking oil could be hot in more than one way! I tried to rationalize this ad, I really did. I CAN'T. Are they insinuating that there are other uses for cooking oil? Are they promoting disciplinary action against fish? I'm so confused.
I'll give these 2 products this, they've got people talking about them...but I still think they're idiotic :)
1. stripper pads (Yes, yes man who is reading this blog, I said pads. Get over it.)
I've only seen this ad once so I'm just hoping and trusting that the stupidity of the human race is at a constant and not -as previously thought- increasing. This ad features a very attractive woman stripping. It's a really short ad and they show what they call 'tasteful nudity' so you don't really see anything but you know she's taking off her clothes...then the ad ends and they say the brand name of the pads. That's it. I'm not an expert. Maybe the strippers were converting to tampons. I have no idea. I just think the ad is stupid.It's a stripper, then its sanitary towels.
2.sexy oil
If I wore a hat I'd take it off to the guys who came up with the ad...then throw it at them. It has everything. A woman who appears to really REALLY like tomatoes, a man who likes to watch her like tomatoes, a rather large fish getting spanked, water and oil flying everywhere, weird facial expressions...then suddenly they're on a beach and guess what, they were advertising cooking oil. I honestly did not know cooking oil could be hot in more than one way! I tried to rationalize this ad, I really did. I CAN'T. Are they insinuating that there are other uses for cooking oil? Are they promoting disciplinary action against fish? I'm so confused.
I'll give these 2 products this, they've got people talking about them...but I still think they're idiotic :)
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