meh...

I haven't posted anything in I think over a month mostly because I've been too happy to complain about anything (someone's doing a good job ;)) and partly because I've been too lazy to type...but now that my lecturers and fellow students are on strike (again) I have time to plague the internet with my sense of self-importance. Why else would anyone start a blog like this? I think that my fleeting thoughts are mostly strokes of such sheer genius that I have to share them with the 2 other people that read my blog. Now let me talk about this strike thing. Or rather complain...

My lecturers went on strike this week and at first I was happy. I was hoping it would last a couple of days or at most a week so that I could have some time to breathe and start some of the many, many, MANY assignments I have never even looked at. It seems that my prayers were answered a little bit too well. Now I have no idea when the strike or rather 'downing of tools' (apparently the strike was illegal so they stopped calling it a strike and carried on) will end. I'm not very worried. I guess the time lost will be recovered by eating into my holiday but for other students it's kind of unfair. Imagine you're just about to graduate then boom; Str...er...downing of tools. I get why the lecturers are pissed off. I would absolutely do the same thing if I was paid- or rather not paid- the way they are so once again the fault lies with the government. I say 'once again' because almost all the problems we have as a country are the fault of our government. Think of a problem and you can almost certainly find a way to trace it back to the government. Unemployment, inflation, bad t.v.(not really). Democracy is so over-rated...I think we need a new political system. Dictatorship is not a plan and democracy is just dictatorship in heels and a minidress.ANYWAY, I try not to get too heavy on my blog because I am a happy person. Kinda. I'm also afraid that the secret police will come after me.(Do we have secret police?)

unfairy-like tales

Sometimes the random things I tweet make me think more deeply about the issues...when I say 'the issues' I wish I meant world peace and a cure for AIDS but alas, my mind is sometimes not such a noble place. The issues in this case refers to fairy tales. So, the tweet was about how Snow White blacked out (i was referring to what happens to many a young lad/lass during their late teens and early twenties when alcohol and large sums of money-or cheap liquor- are are readily available) and Cinderella was on hallucinogens. I'm just saying, the chick believed she rode in a pumpkin for God's sake. In my mind I see a seriously shroomed girl sitting on a pumpkin and yelling at a rat to hurry up lest they get late.
So I started remembering the origins of some nursery rhymes. Those cute songs you used to sing...not so cute. Most of them are about murders, betrayals and other things children should never sing about that happened in England a couple of hundred years ago. Jack and Jill is possibly about the beheading of Marie Antoinette and her husband King Louis the 16th, 'a ring a ring o' roses' is about the plague (yes, when you said 'atishoo we all fall down' you were actually saying 'we all got the plague and dropped dead'), pop goes the weasel was about killing traitors...the list is endless (ok not endless, just long).

side bar: rub a dub dub Though I don't know the origin of this nursery rhyme, it bugs me. If you don't know the rhyme GOOGLE IT and explain to me what 3 men are doing in a tub. It sounds nasty...especially since one of them is a candle-stick maker O.O

ANYWAY, this got me to thinking about an alternate reality where there's a reasonable explanation for what happened in those fairy tales we loved so much as kids. Sadly none of them have happy endings. I think Snow White may have been roofied by one of the dwarfs who was paid off by prince charming...SO...maybe I will write my own slightly altered, not for kids version of fairy tales, give you a little taste of what probably really would have happened if our beloved princesses had actually lived (think of the fairy god mother being some old witchdoctor with kamote (sp)). We'll see.
***By the way, if you're wondering why or how I know the origins of nursery rhymes, don't. I am a very deep well of the most useless information and I'm not even sure how I know these things. Only one thing is for sure...I will never need to know more than half the things I know.You know?(Sorry.couldn't resist :) )

Designer Babies

There's something I watched on TV a while ago about scientists working to find a way to manipulate genes so that people could chose what kind of children they want to have. It IS an appealing thought. You can make sure your kids are beautiful, tall, smart...have dimples...whatever you want, but its kind of unethical. I'm one of those people who believe in only letting technology help us to a certain extent. When it comes to making babies, I think the natural process is best (hehe!) i.e. pick a hot spouse and hope the genes of your unattractive great-grandparent or daft cousin don't somehow manage to manifest themselves in your baby. In related news I heard that Kim Kardashian got married recently. Quite honestly I think if she had a baby by anyone (even his excellency the president. That is a disgusting thought though *shudder* ) the kid would have to be attractive but when I saw a picture of her husband...WHAT! Their children will not be accepted into the society. They will be outcasts. Too gorgeous for normal human beings to comprehend. Ok, enough with the hyperbole. There was a point to this story...other than to state that those two humans are genetically gifted to the point where its almost unfair. Its like they took a large portion of the world's prettiness and ate it, then left the rest of us to share. Unequally. Ah yes,the point. The point is, these are smart people. You want attractive babies, have them with an attractive person. Two pretty people cannot beget an ugly one (unless the father is not really the father, something which is apparently more common than we think).
Maybe in a few years they'll perfect the designer baby idea and we'll have a Hitler situation. Think about it. If they make it available to everyone it will at first obviously be expensive so the poor and the religiously-inclined will be left out of it. There will be a class of intellectually gifted and attractive people who control the world because they are also rich. How long will it take before they decide that they're better than everyone else and its world war 2 all over again (how does world domination keep finding its way into my posts???). Anyway, I'm not particularly bothered. I'll be dead by the time the 'beautiful ones' have grown up and taken over the world. I wonder if they'll find this post (the way we find hieroglyphics) and say that I was making a prophecy. People seem to love such crap. Though if they continue to read up to this point they might hunt down my descendants to pay for my insolence...hehe...I should stop talking now...

Of nails and nipples

You may have started reading this thinking its some raunchy story involving nudity and maybe some S&M. I'm sorry to disappoint you but as it is the holy month of Ramadhan I have no such story to share...

DISCLAIMER: I would like to state that I am in no way insinuating that I have such stories to tell during any other month of the year...and even if I did I wouldn't tell you :)

Anyway, I've been on this subject before but it was about the Tyrannosaurus Rex's devolution into a chicken, which by the way still cracks me up -excuse the pun (chicken,egg...cracking...get it?If you don't think that was funny you have a problem). Now I want to ask people who believe in evolution some questions. This has bothered me for quite a while... why do men have nipples? I seriously need to know. They have no visible function. Is it an aesthetic thing?Nipple-less men look weird?If no men had nipples it would be a common thing so WHY do men have nipples? Another thing. Should we have nails? Since we have knives and stuff and I highly doubt there are people still grasping onto tree barks for their survival (or whatever monkey-people did) so we should have very tiny or no nails. Except for women prone to violence. Those ones require long sharp nails and long hair preferably located in the middle of the head to allow their opponents to grab on and pull. They also require loud, high-pitched voices so as to scare off would-be opponents with a vast vocabulary of obscenities...I can totally be a narrator on National Geograpic...anyway. That is all for now, but I'll be back with more things to complain about soon (I hope).

Side bar: Saum Maqbul to my Muslim brothers and sisters and don't forget to watch out for Lailat-ul Qadr during the last 10 days. Masaalam.

Don't read until you've watched the last Harry Potter movie

I have some complaints about the last half of 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows'...

1. I believe that the title of the movie was misleading. It should have been called 'A movie loosely based on the book-'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows''. Ok...I understand that the movie can never be as good as the book but seriously??? In some ways I can't blame the director or whoever is in charge of the story-line 'cause they cut stuff out of previous movies and there was a snowball effect (haha! An African talking about snowballs :)) I should say mudslide or something...) but I was disappointed. I can't help it.

2.Why oh why did they change small things in the movie? It annoyed me. The Ron-Hermione kiss happened in the wrong place, it was supposed to be Crabbe and Goyle in the Room of Requirement, Nagini was killed in the wrong place and at the wrong time, why did Harry drop the resurrection stone? What was with the pensieve?? As noted by a good friend of mine, the pensieve seems to have been made more portable. It was like the way people used to use floppy disks and now they use flash disks. Oh...more things; WHY did Snape give tears instead of memories?! What was with the almost gay scene between Voldemort and Harry? Why didn't that curse in Bellatrix's vault also cause the stuff in the vault to burn akina Harry? Why did Harry have clothes on when he went to 'kings cross' after he 'died'?(hehe...my reasons for being annoyed at this are purely professional) I have a million more grievances but the more I type the more depressed I get.

3.Why did they make Snape look like a member of Kiss(the rock band)? I spent a large portion of the movie half-expecting him to chuck an electric guitar from under his robes :) lay off the powder and eye liner people!!!

4.Harry and Ginny had no chemistry whatsoever.

5.I didn't see Fred die. We just see his body. Not nearly as dramatic as I wanted it to be.

6.When Voldemort was killing Harry why did he have to say 'avada kedavra' the way he did? It was HILARIOUS!!!It totally took away the 'Oh my God!' feeling I was supposed to have. I laughed so loudly that the people in front of me looked back as if to say 'you heartless bitch!'...but it was so funny!
So yeah. The last Potter movie...not so bad. It had its moments. Like Snape's memories. I was moved. In the book I felt so bad about it that I may or may not have shed a tear. Just one. That didn't necessarily come out...moving along swiftly...its the end of an era. I feel like I grew up with Harry, Ron and Hermione so its kinda sad that their journey came to an end but I guess everything-good or bad(....good being the books and bad being the movies...hehe!)- has to end some time.

The pants dance

I like to lie to myself sometimes. This year, the lie was that I would like to spend my free time doing something constructive. So what did I do? Volunteered myself for some project for one of the student-based organizations at my uni. I have regretted this decision almost from the moment I made it. Unfortunately, I am quite lazy. Especially when I'm on holiday, and it doesnt help that the organization's headquarters is a million kilometres from my bus stop. I guess its a good lie to tell myself 'cause I have to keep hauling my lazy ass out of the house to do something constructive, but its so annoying. True, if I accepted that I am a lazy person and embraced it, I would be a fat and useless (but still awesome) person buuuut...its tempting :) Anyway,maybe if I keep pretending I'm not lazy, the hardworkingness (not a real word) will grow on me and I'll be those over-achieving people we all look up to and hate a little bit at the same time for making us look bad. I honestly don't know how I became lazy. As a child I WAS the ambitious type. A million sports, music, academics...blablabla...I was a pretty amazing child. I love baby-me. I think if baby-me could see me now she'd be a bit ticked off that all her hard work has gone to waste but whatever. What does she know. She's just a kid. I hope when I have kids they're like me until I turned 18. Then they should be like other more polite and well-mannered people :)
On a positive note, I have lost weight! YAY! Its like 1 kg and impossible to notice but considering that I have not managed to lose even one gram since high school I am celebrating with cake...'cause...you know...I can lose the weight I'll gain from eating it :). The thing I like about weight loss is I can fit into this pair of jeans that I like without doing what I call 'the pants dance'. I doubt that guys know what this dance is but ladies who are not particularly thin know what I'm talking about. That thing you have to do when trying to get into a pair of pants that fit you last week but are suddenly tighter. You tell yourself that its not you, its the pants and commence the pants dance which may involve some jumping, wiggling and writhing on your bed. Sometimes the pants dance does not work and you have to start thinking...maybe its not the pants o.O

I've never been good with titles....so I'm not going to bother

I have tried with all my might to ignore this but I can bear this internal anguish no longer. A few months ago, a popular brand of toilet paper re-branded (believe me this story is not going where you think it is). Due to the fact that I am neither a journalist nor a lawyer,I am not sure whether I'm allowed to state the brand name or not. I don't want to be sued (haha!as if enough people read this blog. But anyway. My paranoia and sense of self-importance won't me say what brand it is). So anyway, they re-branded and decided to make their logo (mascot?) a cat. It is an adorable little thing but what the hell does it have to do with the loo??? Are they saying that the t.p. is a soft as a cat? If that's what they're trying to say, how did they know how soft a cat feels on a persons butt? Are they doing some kind of sick animal testing? What other animals have they tested? How many people agreed to be testers? WHY did they agree? If they mean something else, what is it?!?! I want the PR person of this t.p. brand to come out and state their objectives 'cause I'm very confused and saddened that the feline race (I doubt that they're a race but whatever :)) are being associated with such crap. Literally. Another ad campaign that pisses me off is this one for this bank. It's like a pirated version- not even made in China. Made somewhere off the coast of China- of the 'old spice' ads. The 'old spice' ads= genius! The bank ones= lame. When you steal ideas at least make sure they measure up. Really, people. COME ON!

This is not really a rant. More like a short story on the dangers of using t9 or predictive text while texting;
So I was supposed to meet my...someone...in town today. When I get there I start texting 'im in town' while walking. I think I somehow got distracted and accidentally (like the dyslexic I try not to be) switch the letters w and n. Where is the danger in this you ask. Well kids, you see in predictive text the word that makes the most sense with the letter combination of the numbers 8669 is 'tony'. I almost sent a text saying 'im in tony'. The someone would probably have found it kinda funny but what if I'd been texting my mum???

holiday time!!!

Yes! Time to put down the books, grow fat and look for attachment...ok the last part is kind of an anticlimax but its fine. It has to be done so I'll do it. Anyway, my last blogpost was a while ago and sooo much has happened since then but I'll only tell you (most of) what happened since I put down my last paper.

1.Thursday
The last paper was done (computer science.booo!). It was mildly crappy with a side of 'blekh!' but I don't think I've failed it...thaaaat much...anyway it was put down. The end of the paper was the beginning of awesomeness. A friend baked a cake in celebration and I'm telling you that girl can bake! The cake was so good that I think she might have laced it with drugs (good drugs. Not the ones they put in the bhajias at...some place we eat sometimes). Post-cake the drinking began, and with great alcohol consumption comes great insanity. I don't drink by the way. I was high on coca-cola (I was going to say 'coke' then thought about how it sounded.haha!) mostly because my dear friends forgot to share...other things with me :/. Anyway it was a good night. Mostly. I ran into too many of my classmates. Now the image they had of me being a studious, angelic, holy girl are out the window. Sad. Hopefully they'll have forgotten by the time september comes around. I don't have much faith in that happening but yeah.

2.friday
I got home in the morning and SLEPT til around lunchtime. I missed a semi-important meeting and could not locate my phone for a couple of hours but later in the afternoon I was out. SLEEPOVER!!! Intensely fun...hehe. It was the climax of my weekend :)

3.sunday
The sleepover ended on saturday but when I got home all I did was watch movies so let me jump to sunday. At around 9 a.m. I saw my phone had a missed call from a pal who'd been inciting me to go for safari rally. I called back and was notified that I had 20 minutes to get dressed. That was a roadtrip and a half! Our driver (he's going to kill me for blogging about this but I hope he'll only half-kill me if I don't mention his name) was just mr. super-navigator and instead of going to kajiado we ended up in machakos. MACHAKOS! It was so funny!If we hadn't seen the sign-post I don't even know where we would have gone. So we were around 45 minutes off course, had to drive all the way back to some junction, met a couple of dead ends,almost started driving to namanga, got laughed at by some bodaboda drivers but we finally made it. I realized something that day. NO-ONE goes to see the cars. This makes sense because quite honestly I didnt understand the logic behind driving all the way to the middle of nowhere to see some cars pass by and scream at them. I ran into a large number of my highly intoxicated (excuse the pun)friends and finally got the...other things :) (refer to friday). In short it was awesome. We ate nyama (almost got lost going to the nyama place thanks to mr. super-navigator) and got dusty at the side of the road with friends. Fun times...

The law of attraction

I haven't blogged in like three years-more like a month but hyperbole always makes things more interesting-and I was touched that some people noticed and asked me why. You don't know this but I was blushing internally...you know...'cause I don't know how to blush (plus I'm too dark for my skin to change colour...unless I get sunburn). So yesterday as I was on my way home at an ungodly hour from doing things that may or may not be considered immoral in my religion I was thinking about what I should blog about. This doesn't ever happen mostly because my posts are the babies of my random thoughts so I REALLY thought about this. THEN something happened right outside the gate of my estate that made me laugh so hard that I have to share it...

Time- 11ish p.m.
Venue- the stretch between my estate and the next stage (like 20m long.)
Reason for being there- STUPID matatu passed my estate because there were too many people in the mat and I couldn't get to the kange in time. We were squashed into that matatu like sijui those kukus for shags and we still paid 50bob!NKT!I'll rant about this some other time.
story:I don't know how many of you have read a book called 'The Secret'. Its some motivational book about how if you want something bad enough and think about it and blablabla the universe will give it to you. It sounds like some hippy nonsense and honestly I think 'the universe' is just a name for everything that exists but there IS some truth to it... if you replace 'the universe' with God and 'think' with pray :)
I have to start from about a week ago. I was broke and whining (its my thing)about how I need a steady source of income. I don't think I have any exploitable talents (apparently sarcasm doesn't pay very well. Who knew) so I gave up thinking about it and declared to the people sitting next to me in class that I want a sugar-daddy. I was not being serious. Not really anyway. And I don't think I thought about it thaaaat much but last night I think the universe was trying to deliver me a sugar-daddy. It was kinda scary but funny. So I got out of mat pissed that I had to walk 20m instead of 2 doing my angry walk-we all have one- then as I was walking to my estate this car (prado. Eish. Enyewe universe ilijaribu!)starts slowing down behind me. I thought the driver was turning into another estate but the guy rolls down the window and starts asking me where I'm going. I freaked out, but the thing about me is I have no 'flight' reflexes. I just can't run. It's been scientifically proven. I just told him (while increasing my pace) that I'm almost home. Then he starts asking if he can give me a lift, why I'm going home so early, do I want to go somewhere else...AIIIIIIII!!!!!WTF!NO!I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE! That was in my mind. Out loud I spoke considering the fact that the guy is in a large car and could easily run me over if I pissed him off.Plus, there would be no witnesses. So I politely declined his offer and said I'm already home. That did not stop him from following me to the gate with more questions. I have never been so happy to see our watchmen. I almost hugged them. So yeah. This post is to formally announce to the universe that I WAS JOKING. NO MORE SUGAR-DADDIES PLEASE. Now I should just ask the universe for money directly...hehe...

sidebar: yesterday my class had its first girl-fight. Aaaw. We're growing! :D It honestly made my day! That and the person I may or may not have been doing immoral things with ;)

Chickenosaur

Disclaimer:I am a very religious person (kinda) and so obviously I believe in the creationist theory. The idea of evolution is quite interesting but I wouldn't like to live my life thinking that monkeys are among my ancestors.

Chicken are today's dinosaurs. I have never laughed so hard in my life! From gigantic, powerful, carnivorous and fear inducing creatures to what I put in my sandwiches (with lettuce,tomatoes,cheese and mayonnaise...mmm...now I'm hungry). Its so unfair to the dinos...they have such underachieving successors :). Maybe one day chicken shall acknowledge their ancestry and rise up against us. Or maybe they already tried but our superior technology crushed their resistance (think about it...bird flu...chicken have learned the art of biological warfare.)
Evolution seems to be very unfair...it decided that some monkeys should remain monkeys while other monkeys stop being so hairy,walk upright and write books about how much better they are than other animals. I have always wondered how primates reacted when that first human-like monkeys were born. Did they think that they were retarded babies? Did it happen one by one or were all the babies of certain generations suddenly different? Did the primates that weren't evolving feel left out or were they just thinking, "Your cousin is a FREAK!"? Did the evolved primates copulate with the un-evolved ones to form romantic drama-esque scenarios?

** girl primate(obviously,she's the evolved one):oh Alejandro! We cannot be together! My mother says that you have not yet mastered the art of using your opposable thumbs!
boy primate: (picking flea out of his ear and eating it) eeeeeeeeeep!**

Come to think of it...that scenario is not so different from what happens today. Just replace the 'eeeeep' with a 'what?'.Hehe...oh yes I did :)

Back to the matter at hand. Evolution is a BITCH! So in the next couple of millenia will there be a class of super-humans who will treat normal humans like animals? Will the chicken reclaim its past glory? Should we fear the rise of the man-eating chicken? This and more next time on regional geographic (see what I did there?), a totally biased view on the earths past, present and future.

His Noodliness...

I LOVE knowing weird things. I'm a well of very useless but interesting knowledge. So how this has managed to escape me for the past six years, I don't know. I'm ashamed that I did not discover this sooner and feel like a failure as a knower (*not a word) of useless things. What am I talking about? The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Those of you who know me and have had contact with me over the past 7 hours are probably groaning and thinking, "Really? Will she ever shut up about this thing?!" The answer is no. I will not. I may be late but at least now I know about it and until I get tired of it or I'm killed by relatives/friends/random people I talk to who are tired of my constant yapping about this religion.

It started as an argument with my sister who said there was a religion called 'Flying Bowl of Pasta'. I told her no one could possibly be stupid enough to worship spaghetti(I was kinda right as I will explain in a while). After nearly dying of laughter I googled the phrase to prove her wrong. Technically she WAS wrong 'cause there was nothing about flying bowls of pasta but there was something called The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I was about to admit that the girl was right when I read through the origin of the religion. The founder of FSM (also known an Pastafarianism-HAAHA!)was a guy who was against the teaching of creationism in schools. What I got from the article I read was; his point was that the post of God can be filled by any deity from any religion and thus since he believes in an all powerful Spaghetti Monster, it too as to be part of the curriculum (which is-of course-utterly ridiculous). Its not really a religion but the stuff that guy came up with is intensely awesome. From its stripper and beer-full heaven to its belief that the decrease in the number of pirates is the leading cause of global warming. This was an interesting way of tackling the problem. Even the pope thought so. He may have poked fun at the major religions but still. Good stuff! You should go to uncyclopedia and read the stuff they've written about FSM. Some people have waaay too much time on their hands :)

super people (underwear in)

Two posts in two days...this must be a record!anyway yeah. The zit ,in all its red glowing DISGUSTING glory is still with me. That however is not what this post is about. I had an awesome day. The Green Hornet is a must watch! I love movies that don't have your typical heroes. If they are not wearing spandex and their underwear is inside their pants I'm hooked :). I don't like the way people try to make heroes look like they are not susceptible to normal things like mistakes and selfishness ...and jealousy (unless of course the hero is not human. In that case carry on with your righteous self *cough that sounds suspiciously like superman*). I also love it when the love story is a bit off. Or non-existent like in The Mechanic-another seriously awesome movie. Not EVERYTHING has to involve some unattainable girl that must be won over by your decision to wear your underwear over your pants *cough that sounds suspiciously like superman*. Sometimes no matter how much the underwear sets off the colour of your eyes, the girl will not fall for you! I liked the way in The Green Hornet, the person perceived to be the hero was just a very silly man with a lot of money and an insanely smart Japanese(stereotype much?) friend. And that 'the girl' was not some weak mama with a damsel-in-distress complex but the mastermind (even though she didn't know it). In short, I don't like this storyline that's been repeated since sijui prehistoric times. There has never been and there never will be a human being (not counting prophets. They're special) who is so utterly selfless that they would make it their job to safeguard the lives of people they don't know, EVERY SINGLE DAY, without compensation. Such a person probably wouldn't last long anyway. Death seems to like people who go looking for it.

Damn it! Its feb already!

Again I have failed as a blogger. Its ok though. I apparently have other more marketable talents that I can't talk about 'cause technically last night never happened :) (sorry for using an inside joke in the blog but it had to be done!). Anyway its been a reeeeeally long while since my last post and I have so much to say that I could write a mini-series or something but don't worry. I won't subject you guys to all the gory details of my life (which, by the way, is getting stranger by the day.) main points;

1.Mango season
Mangoes are now my favourite fruit. WHAT! I'm so in love. I've been eating so many that my family members are starting to not like my visits because of the rate of mango-depletion that occurs when I'm around. There are these mangoes that are sold near my hostel. OGF! I felt like I was walking on a cloud that was floating on the waters of a river in heaven. I was transported to a magical place where anything is possible and all my dreams came true. Then I finished the mango and immediately started having withdrawal symptoms so I bought another one. I don't know what I'm going to do when mango season is over. Sijui rehab...

2. School (yes. I did just put mangoes before school)
Things are getting thick! This year I don't even know whats happening. I lost focuss *sigh*. I'm in the process of getting it back though. I can't let second sem do me like first sem. First sem was just a nasty kapervert who kept doing things I didn't like or enjoy...on a lighter note, class is very interesting these days. People have relaxed around each other and we are like a small community (that is deprived of females :/. I think my male classmates can sympathize with the Chinese.)

3. Stuff
I'm trying the relationship thing and I don't just suck at it, I'm the worst girlfriend ever! The sad thing is there's really nothing I can do about it because its just the way I am. I was better as a single person...
My personal life has been interesting of late mainly because of internal conflict and shit. It's not fun but its interesting. Now every time I hear a song about making choices and doing the right thing I just get depressed (fake depression. Not the real one). The wrong thing is always the most fun thing to do. Forbidden fruit tastes like mangoes :). Seriously. Sometimes I think God tests me too much. Surely. A girl can only contain herself for so long then you put temptation right there in her face???? AAAAAAH! Unfairness! And what if by doing the wrong thing, I'm doing the right thing? What if the only reason the right thing is right is because you made a stupid impulsive decision that you don't know how to undo? I hate being a grown-up. Mummy!

Aaaaaand those are the highlights. I'll try to blog over the next two weeks as much as possible. TRY being the operative word :)

hostel...not the movie

I finally moved into a hostel (yay!) and now I don't have to make what I named 'the great trek' all the way to the bus stop. Another plus is the fact that the trip to class is much shorter and more enjoyable. Instead of being stuck in a matatu for about an hour then walk-running to class because I'm almost late, I take a scenic 10 minute walk where my only interaction with public transportation is trying not to get hit as I cross the road. Ah, yes...hostels...they are so...BORING. The first night I was so bored that I slept at 9:00 p.m.!! The last time that happened I think I was 10. I have a roommate who seems to be awesome but she's never in the room. She always seems to be in church...unless of course 'church' is a euphemism for some deviant act :) THAT would be interesting. So internetless, t.v-less me has to rely on radio and my school books. On a positive note I have read more in the past week than I have in the entire academic year so far so maybe this year I'll have an insanely attractive result slip.
I miss so many things from home...but second to my family I miss something that I don't think I'll mention for the sake of those readers who do not like to walk around with disturbing graphic images in their minds :). I'm home for the weekend though...and making good use of the facilities.

Happy new year!

I am very bad at blogging aren't I?Anyway, the first post of 2011 was supposed to be new and fresh and blablabla but since I am bad at blogging I have leftovers from last year. Terrible, I know but some things need to be put on this blog;

1: Watamu
When my lovely university decided to close for December holidays later than usual (I'm pretty sure they are still trying to punish my faculty. They had decided that we are the violent ones who led the strikes last year) I became the subject of hateful glances from my family members. Why? I was delaying the family vacation by about half a week. In all fairness I did suggest that they go and I follow them later-honestly the idea of being home alone was very appealing at the time- but they insisted that they would wait for me to finish my c.a.t.'s. It was kind of sweet actually. Anyway they booked tickets for us to leave home almost as soon as I was done with my papers. We went to a beach resort in Watamu and I swear that is the best hotel I have ever been to. Free (ok.not free...paid for in advance) food and drinks and ice-cream ALL day, super-clean beaches, minimal amounts of sea weed, a baby shark...did I mention the food and ice-cream? Seriously if you want the details of this hotel let me know. Needless to say, I left Watamu significantly rounder and hauled my bloated ass on to the next leg of our trip...

2:Lamu
An aunt (one of those aunts who become your aunts by virtue of being your mum's friend for a long time) invited us to stay at her house in Lamu. Apparently she has been inviting us for over 5 years and now that we were in Watamu we had no excuse not to go. So now...noone told me that Lamu is like ushago with a beach! And the journey was murder on my ass. I sat in this ridiculously uncomfortable bus and towards the end of the journey I remembered that Lamu is an island. I am not a fan of boats so this revelation was not that jazzing. Anyway, me, my family and my sore bum got into a boat and went to Lamu (specifically, Matondoni) where we were received by my aunt,her husband and her kids,one of whom(or who? I never got this part of grammar right) was- Thank God- around my age. The house was actually pretty big and beautifully designed but enyewe it was ushago with a beach. The family was fun to stay with though. We had a beach picnic, toured some other islands and also went to stay in their other house in Lamu town. That's where I had *clap of thunder* the encounter. For some reason, the house in Lamu did not have piped water so we had to shower from these stone basin-like things using a jug. Yes. A jug. That, however, was not the problem. The problem started when I wanted to shower then saw a fish in the stone basin-thing. Slightly confused, I went out to ask where the water for showering was really hoping that there was a water source I had overlooked. Nope. I had to shower with the fish inside my shower water. I don't really want to talk about this so lets move on to the midget donkeys. Lamu has these midget donkeys and they are EVERYWHERE. Since there are no cars (I mean NONE. They couldn't fit. The roads are only wide enough for midget donkeys) they are the main means of transport. When you see a grown man riding a midget donkey you will know the meaning of the word disturbing.
The night before going back home I was forced to attend some women-only taarab thing. It was murder on my ears -high pitched whining- but it was interesting. New culture and shit. Plus, there was free soda...

3: Rock fest
Now at least this story carries into 2011. My new years eve and the first few hours of my new years day were spent rocking out to amazing music. I am still suffering from a bangover (refer to the post 'bangover' for an explanation because its not what you people with filthy minds think it is). It was a seriously awesome night with some seriously awesome people...well...mostly seriously awesome people. Someone pissed me off in the wee hours of the morning but like the fish story, I'm not getting into that. So my year has started on a high note. Kinda. I'm ignoring that 'wee hours' event. Lets hope this year is just as awesome as 2010.