I'm having a weird cold which seems to be nocturnal. When I wake up I feel AWFUL and congested then it suddenly disappears only to attack me again when the sun goes down. It's like a vampire virus and its PISSING ME OFF. I'm imagining going to hospital looking very healthy and trying to explain this phantom virus to a doctor. Ugh. Stupid PMSing organisms.
Anyway today I'm complaining about being born first. It's not anyone's fault that they are are firstborns and I can't blame my parents (for once) because there is no way they could have changed the fact that I am their first child but sometimes I wish it was a post I could quit or pass on or something. Its so BORING to be the rational one. I also strongly dislike the fact that I can never really move on to another stage of life completely. I still have to do high school homework, attend high school functions...read for exams with my siblings...case and point: my brother's prize giving day.
Yesterday I had the *clearing throat* honor of being invited (i.e. I was threatened with disownment-I'm not sure if thats a real word...but it should be-if I did not show up) to my brother's high school for a prize giving day. The P.A. system was awful and I could barely hear the entertainment, I had to listen to all the speeches and my mum insisted on staying 'til the end so that my brother could hear the leaving class sing the school anthem and be motivated (still don't really understand that.I guess its a mum thing). Don't get me wrong, I love supporting my family members especially when they deserve it but it sucked that I couldn't say, "That was my last prize giving day." when I cleared. *sigh* oh well...on the upside we had Ethiopian for dinner. Yay! Then as a firstborn since my dad ditched my mum I had to be her date for some awards thingy. I was so sleepy!!!!! But I had firstbornly duties to attend to so I sucked it up, dressed up and pretended not to sleep through the entire function (I can thank my C.R.E. and history teachers for helping me acquire this skill). The upside for that one is today she couldn't use the disco line-refer to previous post- on me :)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Depression...*sigh*
I don't mean the psychological disorder. I mean in the way people are always misusing it to mean really really sad. I keep getting these emails about how 'people come into your life for a reason and leave when they are done...blablabla...' and when you're not losing a friend they make so much sense! As in the first time I read an email like that it was like having an epiphany...now I look back and wonder what the hell was so clear to me.
It's not like my friend died or anything. She just went to study abroad. Ok technically she hasn't even left yet (just saw her off at the airport so she's just there...bored...waiting for her flight) but the point is she's going and I'm not sure when I'll see her next. Before you judge me and decide to label me another silly teenage girl let me give you some insight into why I'm so depressed...lets go back about 6 years...*insert that glittery sound-yes.to me it sounds glittery-from movies like 13 going on 30*...
High school. Hell on earth. I was a poor mono thrown into the cruel world of public boarding school. A semi-friendly young girl whose sharp wit and seriously awesome sarcasm were almost always mistaken for rudeness. I made 'friends' quite easily but I didn't really feel like I had any friends except for 4 girls from my class. Out of the 4, I only considered 3 of them friends because of the bond between Muslims so technically I only REALLY felt like I had 1 friend. This is the young lady at the airport (lets call her X). X is one of those friends who you just kinda have this instant bond with. We were close throughout high school and though I became close with other people there was always this thing we had. She even named it (the thing I mean)*sigh*. Since we cleared high school the most we've gone without seeing each other is a month and that was only because she wasn't around but we still texted each other every other day. I'm reading through this and realizing how incredibly gay it sounds but yeah...too bad!!! So she's going. I'm happy that she'll get to do the course she wants and get exposure...yadayadayada...but I already miss her. I know it's psychological but again TOO BAD.
You may be thinking that I'm a silly human being saying stuff like that in the age of facebook and skype, but the thing is,human beings are ever-changing creatures. We become different every single day because of the experiences we have and these differences define us. If you're not there to experience and accept the changes it can get to a point where you just can't click and that is what I'm scared of. Imagine someone so close to you becoming a stranger. It scares the shit out of me. I usually embrace change...ok...no I don't,but still this is harder than most other changes. Ah well. Time will tell (I rhymed accidentally!).
P.S. X, since u CLAIM to read my blog...love you!
It's not like my friend died or anything. She just went to study abroad. Ok technically she hasn't even left yet (just saw her off at the airport so she's just there...bored...waiting for her flight) but the point is she's going and I'm not sure when I'll see her next. Before you judge me and decide to label me another silly teenage girl let me give you some insight into why I'm so depressed...lets go back about 6 years...*insert that glittery sound-yes.to me it sounds glittery-from movies like 13 going on 30*...
High school. Hell on earth. I was a poor mono thrown into the cruel world of public boarding school. A semi-friendly young girl whose sharp wit and seriously awesome sarcasm were almost always mistaken for rudeness. I made 'friends' quite easily but I didn't really feel like I had any friends except for 4 girls from my class. Out of the 4, I only considered 3 of them friends because of the bond between Muslims so technically I only REALLY felt like I had 1 friend. This is the young lady at the airport (lets call her X). X is one of those friends who you just kinda have this instant bond with. We were close throughout high school and though I became close with other people there was always this thing we had. She even named it (the thing I mean)*sigh*. Since we cleared high school the most we've gone without seeing each other is a month and that was only because she wasn't around but we still texted each other every other day. I'm reading through this and realizing how incredibly gay it sounds but yeah...too bad!!! So she's going. I'm happy that she'll get to do the course she wants and get exposure...yadayadayada...but I already miss her. I know it's psychological but again TOO BAD.
You may be thinking that I'm a silly human being saying stuff like that in the age of facebook and skype, but the thing is,human beings are ever-changing creatures. We become different every single day because of the experiences we have and these differences define us. If you're not there to experience and accept the changes it can get to a point where you just can't click and that is what I'm scared of. Imagine someone so close to you becoming a stranger. It scares the shit out of me. I usually embrace change...ok...no I don't,but still this is harder than most other changes. Ah well. Time will tell (I rhymed accidentally!).
P.S. X, since u CLAIM to read my blog...love you!
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