hostel...not the movie

I finally moved into a hostel (yay!) and now I don't have to make what I named 'the great trek' all the way to the bus stop. Another plus is the fact that the trip to class is much shorter and more enjoyable. Instead of being stuck in a matatu for about an hour then walk-running to class because I'm almost late, I take a scenic 10 minute walk where my only interaction with public transportation is trying not to get hit as I cross the road. Ah, yes...hostels...they are so...BORING. The first night I was so bored that I slept at 9:00 p.m.!! The last time that happened I think I was 10. I have a roommate who seems to be awesome but she's never in the room. She always seems to be in church...unless of course 'church' is a euphemism for some deviant act :) THAT would be interesting. So internetless, t.v-less me has to rely on radio and my school books. On a positive note I have read more in the past week than I have in the entire academic year so far so maybe this year I'll have an insanely attractive result slip.
I miss so many things from home...but second to my family I miss something that I don't think I'll mention for the sake of those readers who do not like to walk around with disturbing graphic images in their minds :). I'm home for the weekend though...and making good use of the facilities.

Happy new year!

I am very bad at blogging aren't I?Anyway, the first post of 2011 was supposed to be new and fresh and blablabla but since I am bad at blogging I have leftovers from last year. Terrible, I know but some things need to be put on this blog;

1: Watamu
When my lovely university decided to close for December holidays later than usual (I'm pretty sure they are still trying to punish my faculty. They had decided that we are the violent ones who led the strikes last year) I became the subject of hateful glances from my family members. Why? I was delaying the family vacation by about half a week. In all fairness I did suggest that they go and I follow them later-honestly the idea of being home alone was very appealing at the time- but they insisted that they would wait for me to finish my c.a.t.'s. It was kind of sweet actually. Anyway they booked tickets for us to leave home almost as soon as I was done with my papers. We went to a beach resort in Watamu and I swear that is the best hotel I have ever been to. Free (ok.not free...paid for in advance) food and drinks and ice-cream ALL day, super-clean beaches, minimal amounts of sea weed, a baby shark...did I mention the food and ice-cream? Seriously if you want the details of this hotel let me know. Needless to say, I left Watamu significantly rounder and hauled my bloated ass on to the next leg of our trip...

2:Lamu
An aunt (one of those aunts who become your aunts by virtue of being your mum's friend for a long time) invited us to stay at her house in Lamu. Apparently she has been inviting us for over 5 years and now that we were in Watamu we had no excuse not to go. So now...noone told me that Lamu is like ushago with a beach! And the journey was murder on my ass. I sat in this ridiculously uncomfortable bus and towards the end of the journey I remembered that Lamu is an island. I am not a fan of boats so this revelation was not that jazzing. Anyway, me, my family and my sore bum got into a boat and went to Lamu (specifically, Matondoni) where we were received by my aunt,her husband and her kids,one of whom(or who? I never got this part of grammar right) was- Thank God- around my age. The house was actually pretty big and beautifully designed but enyewe it was ushago with a beach. The family was fun to stay with though. We had a beach picnic, toured some other islands and also went to stay in their other house in Lamu town. That's where I had *clap of thunder* the encounter. For some reason, the house in Lamu did not have piped water so we had to shower from these stone basin-like things using a jug. Yes. A jug. That, however, was not the problem. The problem started when I wanted to shower then saw a fish in the stone basin-thing. Slightly confused, I went out to ask where the water for showering was really hoping that there was a water source I had overlooked. Nope. I had to shower with the fish inside my shower water. I don't really want to talk about this so lets move on to the midget donkeys. Lamu has these midget donkeys and they are EVERYWHERE. Since there are no cars (I mean NONE. They couldn't fit. The roads are only wide enough for midget donkeys) they are the main means of transport. When you see a grown man riding a midget donkey you will know the meaning of the word disturbing.
The night before going back home I was forced to attend some women-only taarab thing. It was murder on my ears -high pitched whining- but it was interesting. New culture and shit. Plus, there was free soda...

3: Rock fest
Now at least this story carries into 2011. My new years eve and the first few hours of my new years day were spent rocking out to amazing music. I am still suffering from a bangover (refer to the post 'bangover' for an explanation because its not what you people with filthy minds think it is). It was a seriously awesome night with some seriously awesome people...well...mostly seriously awesome people. Someone pissed me off in the wee hours of the morning but like the fish story, I'm not getting into that. So my year has started on a high note. Kinda. I'm ignoring that 'wee hours' event. Lets hope this year is just as awesome as 2010.

Never give up...stupid,stupid,stupid.

I think one of the worst pieces of advice we are given as children is 'never give up'. This motto, drilled into our minds from a very young age, has been a constant source of irritation in my life and I'm pretty sure it has affected a large percentage of the population at one time or another. What am I talking about? How many times have you been accosted by a vendor who,even though you have clearly stated that you either have no use for what they are vending or have no money (hint hint, those guys who sell socks outside lifestyle and near Nairobi hospital.seriously. I don't want your damn socks!), keeps following you til you end up either running away or saying something rude? Or how many times have you received unwanted attention from a member of the opposite (or same) gender and actually had to leave the place or threaten the person with an ass-whooping just to get them to leave you alone? And how many times have you been/seen a friend get hounded by an ex or past...umm...'acquaintance' who has refused to believe that its over and thinks that 'you will see the light'. Please. Stop it. At least the sock people can say that they are earning a living but whats everyone else's excuse? If you think you can wear someone down with your constant badgering you are very wrong. Chances are you'll just end up pissing them off! Sometimes the smart thing to do is to quit. Most of the time your constant pursuit will just end up hurting you. So unless you are some kind of emotional masochist let it go. On the other hand, if you ARE some kind of emotional masochist, go ahead and do your thing. I don't discriminate. A warning though...if you try it with me I will hurt you. Physically.

November Mash-up

Its been a while since I posted anything (bad Zani) but its not my fault. November has been a hectic month. School's a bitch. My lecturers are just mean. There's one who comes to class and never really tells us anything of importance. Just makes us photocopy handouts then reads to us their contents EXACTLY how they appear in the handouts. Nkt. Really?? As if English was not part of the curriculum all through primary and high school. Then there's another one who has a permanent frown. I'm pretty sure he couldn't smile if he wanted to. I swear I have NEVER seen his facial expression change. It can't. Its too late :). The only other lecturer worth mentioning is this guy who hangs around while we do our labwork(He's supposed to be helping us but asking him questions will warrant you a lecture about how our generation likes to be spoon-fed :/). He has this 'I shall be a sexual predator some day' look. Its seriously creepy. Lock up your children. My course just keeps getting stranger. Last week I spent an afternoon 'grading timber'and no I am not a lumberjack in training. I don't think they even offer such a course at any university ANYWHERE. So I essentially spent the afternoon identifying defects in timber and calculating how bad they are. Surely. Then they tell us there are professional timber graders leaving me wondering why the hell they made us do it. And by the way it was Idd.I was really pissed off! May have taken it out on some of my moderately lazy group members. Not that they didn't deserve it. (Duncan you have finally been referred to in my blog. Celebrate.)

Enough about boring education. Other, way more interesting, things have happened this month. I went for an AIESEC conference and it ROCKED. Mostly because I was in great company. I honestly believe that my university has the people with the most personality, psyche and awesomeNESS (a word I learned during that conference. Stress on the -NESS). The actual conferences went on til really late-midnight- but the parties afterward made it worth the wait. For once it wasn't a drag being the only sober person mostly because I didn't have to take care of anyone. It was a seriously fun weekend. Made new friends, bonded with the in-between ones, saw some old ones doing VERY silly things (hint hint-my bellydancing friend. HAHA! Male version of Shakira!)Kenyans drink too much by the way.

As I had previously stated November is my birthday month. I don't celebrate it but this year it was an AWFUL day. Spent it fighting with mummy dearest and I'm not even sure what the fighting was about. I need to move out! I think women can only live together for a fixed amount of time. I'm kind of starting to get why people in traditional settings used to get married so early. If my mum didn't go to work and I didn't go to school we may have killed each other by now. I can't imagine the two of us staying in the same place day in day out with her criticizing my housework and goat washing skills (or whatever else traditional women used to do). Blood would have to be shed. I love her to bits and I don't know what I would do without her but we get on each others nerves ALOT. My main motivation behind looking for a hostel.

My sister is done with high school! The day was marked with ice-cream and me running away from class very fast to see her as soon as I could. I'm so relieved. I feel like I have finally left the hellhole that was __________.(For the purpose of not wanting to be affiliated with that high school I have decided not to name it). I'm letting her rest right now...but in a couple of weeks the perversion shall begin as planned *insert evil laughter*. My mum thinks I'm a bad influence on her and I just might be but I will take care of her because I am the domineering big sister type. You can't touch her :). I pity the fool that tries to ask her out without measuring up to my big sister standards.

Wow.Long post...I'll try not put off blogging for so long again. Later :)

...don't know what to call this one...

1st day of the most awesome month of the year! There are so many reasons why November is the queen of the calendar; short rains season so the ground always smells yummy, people are finishing up their final high school exams and lastly ,but most importantly, it is the month in which the earth was graced by the arrival of one female child whose birth offset the balance of nature, caused the heavens to part and the angels to sigh in relief that the world was going to be a better place. Yes. I am the aforementioned child...but you already knew that. I feel so OLD. Someone pointed out that my birthday is just around the corner and I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I'm so OLD. Some decades ago by now I'd be barefoot and pregnant with my 3rd child or something. Now I'm just barefoot (not that I'm complaining). My point is that I have to start thinking about my responsibilities and priorities in life and shit like that because I'm just too old not to. I like being able to blame stuff I do wrong on other people- favourite passtime actually- and the older you get, the fewer those people are. I do not like this. Have to learn to live with it though. I COULD marry some rich old man and be a kept woman but alas I do not, as the youth like to say, 'roll like that'. Plus, I like 'em young *rawr*.

Enough about my aging. Halloween! Don't you just LOVE how Kenyans pick up obscure customs that they do not understand and embrace them wholeheartedly? My internet addiction and my love for useless knowledge enabled me to know the origin of halloween but its not all that interesting so if you want to know...well...google! Anyway being the Kenyan that I am I went for a halloween party-thing. What did I dress up as? I'm not sure. I just wore black clothes and scary accessories and let people think I was whatever they wanted me to be. I'm considerate like that. Anyway it rocked. Quite literally actually. I listened to rock for most of the night (there was a part of the night when we busted the dj in the basement playing 'bendover' when people moved upstairs) and have the aching muscles to prove it. Moshing is so much fun when your doing it but the after effects are just not pretty. I've spent the whole day walking like the old woman I'm just about to be.
Still on the topic of halloween,a friend of mine sent me a halloween e-card. Insanely funny! It has me and 4 of our other friends' heads pasted onto some monster bodies. We are dancing. I'm singing. I nearly died while watching it. The maker of the e-card made me the mad scientist. I'm not very sure what he was insinuating but that video is REALLY funny. I can't wait for the next pagan ritual that we can all blindly celebrate!

Cellphone eulogy :'(

It has only been 2 days (2hrs according to my parents) since I lost you to a tragic and brutal pick-pocketing incident but the feeling of loss is so great that I can barely bear (good wordplay RIGHT?!?!) it. You were taken from me too soon. In the prime of your life, just 4/5 months old, your work was far from over. How I shall miss the crisp sound quality of the music that blasted from your tiny but powerful speakers and the way you would 'breathe' when there was a text whose vibration I could not feel for I was otherwise occupied. Ah and the vibration. So firm. I could always feel it even when you were in my bag. I'll miss the times we had together, taking incriminating photos of friends (which are now in the hands of the pickpocket. Oops. Hope none of you ever wants to be president or anything :)) and listening to three days grace in matatus to drown out the raggae. I think what I'll miss the most was how you would let me access unsuspecting peoples' WLAN's and surf the net for free. That always helped me pass time...

I cant help but blame myself. You shouldn't have been there! I should have left you at home that night. But I had to stay in touch with my drunk and hyperactive friends as they wandered about getting in all kinds of trouble. It is my selfishness that led to this fate and I'll always regret that. The void you left can never be filled (especially since I'm pretty sure that the next phone I'm getting will not even have a coloured screen) and I can never replace you (seriously I just can't afford it!). I know there is NO WAY you are in a better place now but for your sake (and mine...and the people whose pics are in the memory card) I hope they erase your memory and sell you at a reasonable price because you are worth it. I also hope that whatever they buy with that money catches fire and or gives them a serious rash, constipation and hair loss.

You will be missed.

Bangover 2:rated R

Its monday so obviously I am in the office...they 'forgot' to give the silly intern work again so I'm taking full advantage of the free internet service here :). I seriously can't wait to get back to school. You can always skyve class but you can't skyve work. *sigh* i can so wait to clear uni and get a real job. Anyway I'm dying! I feel like i was beaten up (I may have been...) then run over by a steamroller. I however don't regret it one bit and would redo saturday night/sunday morning all over again without changing a thing.

I went for BoTB with my friends again. Met some new interesting people-one of whom was being indiscreetly cougared by my pal *rawr*-but my old friends are the ones who made that night insanely awesome. There were quite a number of intoxicating substances consumed so people were craaaaaaazy. The moshing was intense! I ranted in a very gay manner about missing my friend (I actually had to explain to the new people that I was not a lesbian),nearly got a black eye,someone lost a tooth and the same person may or may not (im not sure) sprained his ankle. At this point i would like to explain that I only know that guy because he is the friend of a friend. No direct connection :). I am not afraid to disown him. Anyway I'm pretty sure I lost weight that night.

I get home at around 6 a.m. go to bed and 2 hours later guess what happens??? My lovely mother wakes me up to straighten out the house.She has other children dammit! Children who'd slept in the house the night before! Anyway the chores did not let up 'til around 9 p.m. I felt like I'd been transported to colonial Kenya and my mum was white. The abusive language...the feelings of oppression and rebellion...the HOUSEWORK! Maumau shit. So yeah. I blacked out at around 9 and woke up feeling AWFUL. Even more now that I've realised that after work I have a date with a broom. Yup. More housework :/