Never give up...stupid,stupid,stupid.

I think one of the worst pieces of advice we are given as children is 'never give up'. This motto, drilled into our minds from a very young age, has been a constant source of irritation in my life and I'm pretty sure it has affected a large percentage of the population at one time or another. What am I talking about? How many times have you been accosted by a vendor who,even though you have clearly stated that you either have no use for what they are vending or have no money (hint hint, those guys who sell socks outside lifestyle and near Nairobi hospital.seriously. I don't want your damn socks!), keeps following you til you end up either running away or saying something rude? Or how many times have you received unwanted attention from a member of the opposite (or same) gender and actually had to leave the place or threaten the person with an ass-whooping just to get them to leave you alone? And how many times have you been/seen a friend get hounded by an ex or past...umm...'acquaintance' who has refused to believe that its over and thinks that 'you will see the light'. Please. Stop it. At least the sock people can say that they are earning a living but whats everyone else's excuse? If you think you can wear someone down with your constant badgering you are very wrong. Chances are you'll just end up pissing them off! Sometimes the smart thing to do is to quit. Most of the time your constant pursuit will just end up hurting you. So unless you are some kind of emotional masochist let it go. On the other hand, if you ARE some kind of emotional masochist, go ahead and do your thing. I don't discriminate. A warning though...if you try it with me I will hurt you. Physically.

November Mash-up

Its been a while since I posted anything (bad Zani) but its not my fault. November has been a hectic month. School's a bitch. My lecturers are just mean. There's one who comes to class and never really tells us anything of importance. Just makes us photocopy handouts then reads to us their contents EXACTLY how they appear in the handouts. Nkt. Really?? As if English was not part of the curriculum all through primary and high school. Then there's another one who has a permanent frown. I'm pretty sure he couldn't smile if he wanted to. I swear I have NEVER seen his facial expression change. It can't. Its too late :). The only other lecturer worth mentioning is this guy who hangs around while we do our labwork(He's supposed to be helping us but asking him questions will warrant you a lecture about how our generation likes to be spoon-fed :/). He has this 'I shall be a sexual predator some day' look. Its seriously creepy. Lock up your children. My course just keeps getting stranger. Last week I spent an afternoon 'grading timber'and no I am not a lumberjack in training. I don't think they even offer such a course at any university ANYWHERE. So I essentially spent the afternoon identifying defects in timber and calculating how bad they are. Surely. Then they tell us there are professional timber graders leaving me wondering why the hell they made us do it. And by the way it was Idd.I was really pissed off! May have taken it out on some of my moderately lazy group members. Not that they didn't deserve it. (Duncan you have finally been referred to in my blog. Celebrate.)

Enough about boring education. Other, way more interesting, things have happened this month. I went for an AIESEC conference and it ROCKED. Mostly because I was in great company. I honestly believe that my university has the people with the most personality, psyche and awesomeNESS (a word I learned during that conference. Stress on the -NESS). The actual conferences went on til really late-midnight- but the parties afterward made it worth the wait. For once it wasn't a drag being the only sober person mostly because I didn't have to take care of anyone. It was a seriously fun weekend. Made new friends, bonded with the in-between ones, saw some old ones doing VERY silly things (hint hint-my bellydancing friend. HAHA! Male version of Shakira!)Kenyans drink too much by the way.

As I had previously stated November is my birthday month. I don't celebrate it but this year it was an AWFUL day. Spent it fighting with mummy dearest and I'm not even sure what the fighting was about. I need to move out! I think women can only live together for a fixed amount of time. I'm kind of starting to get why people in traditional settings used to get married so early. If my mum didn't go to work and I didn't go to school we may have killed each other by now. I can't imagine the two of us staying in the same place day in day out with her criticizing my housework and goat washing skills (or whatever else traditional women used to do). Blood would have to be shed. I love her to bits and I don't know what I would do without her but we get on each others nerves ALOT. My main motivation behind looking for a hostel.

My sister is done with high school! The day was marked with ice-cream and me running away from class very fast to see her as soon as I could. I'm so relieved. I feel like I have finally left the hellhole that was __________.(For the purpose of not wanting to be affiliated with that high school I have decided not to name it). I'm letting her rest right now...but in a couple of weeks the perversion shall begin as planned *insert evil laughter*. My mum thinks I'm a bad influence on her and I just might be but I will take care of her because I am the domineering big sister type. You can't touch her :). I pity the fool that tries to ask her out without measuring up to my big sister standards.

Wow.Long post...I'll try not put off blogging for so long again. Later :)

...don't know what to call this one...

1st day of the most awesome month of the year! There are so many reasons why November is the queen of the calendar; short rains season so the ground always smells yummy, people are finishing up their final high school exams and lastly ,but most importantly, it is the month in which the earth was graced by the arrival of one female child whose birth offset the balance of nature, caused the heavens to part and the angels to sigh in relief that the world was going to be a better place. Yes. I am the aforementioned child...but you already knew that. I feel so OLD. Someone pointed out that my birthday is just around the corner and I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I'm so OLD. Some decades ago by now I'd be barefoot and pregnant with my 3rd child or something. Now I'm just barefoot (not that I'm complaining). My point is that I have to start thinking about my responsibilities and priorities in life and shit like that because I'm just too old not to. I like being able to blame stuff I do wrong on other people- favourite passtime actually- and the older you get, the fewer those people are. I do not like this. Have to learn to live with it though. I COULD marry some rich old man and be a kept woman but alas I do not, as the youth like to say, 'roll like that'. Plus, I like 'em young *rawr*.

Enough about my aging. Halloween! Don't you just LOVE how Kenyans pick up obscure customs that they do not understand and embrace them wholeheartedly? My internet addiction and my love for useless knowledge enabled me to know the origin of halloween but its not all that interesting so if you want to know...well...google! Anyway being the Kenyan that I am I went for a halloween party-thing. What did I dress up as? I'm not sure. I just wore black clothes and scary accessories and let people think I was whatever they wanted me to be. I'm considerate like that. Anyway it rocked. Quite literally actually. I listened to rock for most of the night (there was a part of the night when we busted the dj in the basement playing 'bendover' when people moved upstairs) and have the aching muscles to prove it. Moshing is so much fun when your doing it but the after effects are just not pretty. I've spent the whole day walking like the old woman I'm just about to be.
Still on the topic of halloween,a friend of mine sent me a halloween e-card. Insanely funny! It has me and 4 of our other friends' heads pasted onto some monster bodies. We are dancing. I'm singing. I nearly died while watching it. The maker of the e-card made me the mad scientist. I'm not very sure what he was insinuating but that video is REALLY funny. I can't wait for the next pagan ritual that we can all blindly celebrate!

Cellphone eulogy :'(

It has only been 2 days (2hrs according to my parents) since I lost you to a tragic and brutal pick-pocketing incident but the feeling of loss is so great that I can barely bear (good wordplay RIGHT?!?!) it. You were taken from me too soon. In the prime of your life, just 4/5 months old, your work was far from over. How I shall miss the crisp sound quality of the music that blasted from your tiny but powerful speakers and the way you would 'breathe' when there was a text whose vibration I could not feel for I was otherwise occupied. Ah and the vibration. So firm. I could always feel it even when you were in my bag. I'll miss the times we had together, taking incriminating photos of friends (which are now in the hands of the pickpocket. Oops. Hope none of you ever wants to be president or anything :)) and listening to three days grace in matatus to drown out the raggae. I think what I'll miss the most was how you would let me access unsuspecting peoples' WLAN's and surf the net for free. That always helped me pass time...

I cant help but blame myself. You shouldn't have been there! I should have left you at home that night. But I had to stay in touch with my drunk and hyperactive friends as they wandered about getting in all kinds of trouble. It is my selfishness that led to this fate and I'll always regret that. The void you left can never be filled (especially since I'm pretty sure that the next phone I'm getting will not even have a coloured screen) and I can never replace you (seriously I just can't afford it!). I know there is NO WAY you are in a better place now but for your sake (and mine...and the people whose pics are in the memory card) I hope they erase your memory and sell you at a reasonable price because you are worth it. I also hope that whatever they buy with that money catches fire and or gives them a serious rash, constipation and hair loss.

You will be missed.

Bangover 2:rated R

Its monday so obviously I am in the office...they 'forgot' to give the silly intern work again so I'm taking full advantage of the free internet service here :). I seriously can't wait to get back to school. You can always skyve class but you can't skyve work. *sigh* i can so wait to clear uni and get a real job. Anyway I'm dying! I feel like i was beaten up (I may have been...) then run over by a steamroller. I however don't regret it one bit and would redo saturday night/sunday morning all over again without changing a thing.

I went for BoTB with my friends again. Met some new interesting people-one of whom was being indiscreetly cougared by my pal *rawr*-but my old friends are the ones who made that night insanely awesome. There were quite a number of intoxicating substances consumed so people were craaaaaaazy. The moshing was intense! I ranted in a very gay manner about missing my friend (I actually had to explain to the new people that I was not a lesbian),nearly got a black eye,someone lost a tooth and the same person may or may not (im not sure) sprained his ankle. At this point i would like to explain that I only know that guy because he is the friend of a friend. No direct connection :). I am not afraid to disown him. Anyway I'm pretty sure I lost weight that night.

I get home at around 6 a.m. go to bed and 2 hours later guess what happens??? My lovely mother wakes me up to straighten out the house.She has other children dammit! Children who'd slept in the house the night before! Anyway the chores did not let up 'til around 9 p.m. I felt like I'd been transported to colonial Kenya and my mum was white. The abusive language...the feelings of oppression and rebellion...the HOUSEWORK! Maumau shit. So yeah. I blacked out at around 9 and woke up feeling AWFUL. Even more now that I've realised that after work I have a date with a broom. Yup. More housework :/

The plight of the first born

I'm having a weird cold which seems to be nocturnal. When I wake up I feel AWFUL and congested then it suddenly disappears only to attack me again when the sun goes down. It's like a vampire virus and its PISSING ME OFF. I'm imagining going to hospital looking very healthy and trying to explain this phantom virus to a doctor. Ugh. Stupid PMSing organisms.

Anyway today I'm complaining about being born first. It's not anyone's fault that they are are firstborns and I can't blame my parents (for once) because there is no way they could have changed the fact that I am their first child but sometimes I wish it was a post I could quit or pass on or something. Its so BORING to be the rational one. I also strongly dislike the fact that I can never really move on to another stage of life completely. I still have to do high school homework, attend high school functions...read for exams with my siblings...case and point: my brother's prize giving day.

Yesterday I had the *clearing throat* honor of being invited (i.e. I was threatened with disownment-I'm not sure if thats a real word...but it should be-if I did not show up) to my brother's high school for a prize giving day. The P.A. system was awful and I could barely hear the entertainment, I had to listen to all the speeches and my mum insisted on staying 'til the end so that my brother could hear the leaving class sing the school anthem and be motivated (still don't really understand that.I guess its a mum thing). Don't get me wrong, I love supporting my family members especially when they deserve it but it sucked that I couldn't say, "That was my last prize giving day." when I cleared. *sigh* oh well...on the upside we had Ethiopian for dinner. Yay! Then as a firstborn since my dad ditched my mum I had to be her date for some awards thingy. I was so sleepy!!!!! But I had firstbornly duties to attend to so I sucked it up, dressed up and pretended not to sleep through the entire function (I can thank my C.R.E. and history teachers for helping me acquire this skill). The upside for that one is today she couldn't use the disco line-refer to previous post- on me :)

Depression...*sigh*

I don't mean the psychological disorder. I mean in the way people are always misusing it to mean really really sad. I keep getting these emails about how 'people come into your life for a reason and leave when they are done...blablabla...' and when you're not losing a friend they make so much sense! As in the first time I read an email like that it was like having an epiphany...now I look back and wonder what the hell was so clear to me.

It's not like my friend died or anything. She just went to study abroad. Ok technically she hasn't even left yet (just saw her off at the airport so she's just there...bored...waiting for her flight) but the point is she's going and I'm not sure when I'll see her next. Before you judge me and decide to label me another silly teenage girl let me give you some insight into why I'm so depressed...lets go back about 6 years...*insert that glittery sound-yes.to me it sounds glittery-from movies like 13 going on 30*...

High school. Hell on earth. I was a poor mono thrown into the cruel world of public boarding school. A semi-friendly young girl whose sharp wit and seriously awesome sarcasm were almost always mistaken for rudeness. I made 'friends' quite easily but I didn't really feel like I had any friends except for 4 girls from my class. Out of the 4, I only considered 3 of them friends because of the bond between Muslims so technically I only REALLY felt like I had 1 friend. This is the young lady at the airport (lets call her X). X is one of those friends who you just kinda have this instant bond with. We were close throughout high school and though I became close with other people there was always this thing we had. She even named it (the thing I mean)*sigh*. Since we cleared high school the most we've gone without seeing each other is a month and that was only because she wasn't around but we still texted each other every other day. I'm reading through this and realizing how incredibly gay it sounds but yeah...too bad!!! So she's going. I'm happy that she'll get to do the course she wants and get exposure...yadayadayada...but I already miss her. I know it's psychological but again TOO BAD.

You may be thinking that I'm a silly human being saying stuff like that in the age of facebook and skype, but the thing is,human beings are ever-changing creatures. We become different every single day because of the experiences we have and these differences define us. If you're not there to experience and accept the changes it can get to a point where you just can't click and that is what I'm scared of. Imagine someone so close to you becoming a stranger. It scares the shit out of me. I usually embrace change...ok...no I don't,but still this is harder than most other changes. Ah well. Time will tell (I rhymed accidentally!).

P.S. X, since u CLAIM to read my blog...love you!