Friday, August 27, 2010
...
I forgot to complain about over-sagging..or even just sagging. There's this thing boys of a certain age do of wearing trousers from almost around the knees. Why?! It looks silly and it freaks me out (seriously its kinda freaky. They look like they have long torsos and midget legs...its straight out of a horror movie!) And whenever I see this madness I wonder if the dudes buy trousers sizes smaller so that they can wear them IN THE WRONG PLACE. There's no excuse! Even if you're hung like a horse and have a weird rash. That is all. Thanks.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
'Hot'
So temperatures are rising-I literally mean atmospheric temperature. Its not some weird coded language for anything else- and the outfits women are wearing are getting hotter...or so they think. Yes hemlines are going up, necklines are plunging and men are drooling but there are some outfits I don't quite understand...
1: the teenyweenymicrominiskirt coupled with see-through or meshed tights that reach either the knee or right below the knee.
You look like you're wearing really long bikers. Why don't you just buy tights that are either halfway down your calves or complete?? They are the same price. And when you wear an almost non-existent skirt during the day then try to 'justify' it by wearing tights it doesn't make you look any more decent. I can still see your legs :) Most people trying this look end up looking kinda like Wilt from Foster's home for imaginary friends (wow...havn't watched that cartoon in a while) you know...long legs and insanely small body. Like their entire midsections were squeezed together tightly in the event that an organ or two attempts to escape.
2: wearing a small top and see through tights
It is getting warmer...but this is not an excuse to leave your pants at home! The other day my eyes were assaulted by a girl who bent over to pick something off the ground and flashed me her underwear. Its called underwear for a reason. Figure it out.
I realize that 'Misuse of tights' would be a more appropriate name for this post but hey...
These girls really do think that they look ok. Actually better than ok. They think they look hot! Once in a while I'll see a girl who pulls these things off but its really rare. People please tell your girl friends when they look silly before they leave the house and make you an embarrassment by association. Thanks. My eyes are tired of seeing and my mouth is tired of laughing (ok maybe I'm not tired of laughing :))
1: the teenyweenymicrominiskirt coupled with see-through or meshed tights that reach either the knee or right below the knee.
You look like you're wearing really long bikers. Why don't you just buy tights that are either halfway down your calves or complete?? They are the same price. And when you wear an almost non-existent skirt during the day then try to 'justify' it by wearing tights it doesn't make you look any more decent. I can still see your legs :) Most people trying this look end up looking kinda like Wilt from Foster's home for imaginary friends (wow...havn't watched that cartoon in a while) you know...long legs and insanely small body. Like their entire midsections were squeezed together tightly in the event that an organ or two attempts to escape.
2: wearing a small top and see through tights
It is getting warmer...but this is not an excuse to leave your pants at home! The other day my eyes were assaulted by a girl who bent over to pick something off the ground and flashed me her underwear. Its called underwear for a reason. Figure it out.
I realize that 'Misuse of tights' would be a more appropriate name for this post but hey...
These girls really do think that they look ok. Actually better than ok. They think they look hot! Once in a while I'll see a girl who pulls these things off but its really rare. People please tell your girl friends when they look silly before they leave the house and make you an embarrassment by association. Thanks. My eyes are tired of seeing and my mouth is tired of laughing (ok maybe I'm not tired of laughing :))
Sunday, August 15, 2010
BBA
It being the holy month and all I am on the path to enlightenment and thus there wont be any posts of me doing weird things for the next few weeks. Ramadhan kareem and saum maqbul to all my Muslim sisters and brothers. May Allah accept your fasts.
But this doesn't mean I can't watch t.v. and I'm telling you my addiction to big brother keeps getting worse each day. Last night the big brother housemates made me feel like the most angelic human in the existence...ai. Especially the women. I'm sure if there was some dude from some other continent watching yesterday he has bought a plane ticket and is on his way to find an African woman. I wish I knew one of those girls so I could go to their houses and see if their relatives are still alive or have died of shock :). The dancing they did was making the t.v. stall. As in even the t.v. didn't want me to see what was going on! But I saw...and I was amazed...and I have come to a conclusion. Everyone in the world is just nasty! A few posts back I said that my people are a kinky lot. I would like to rephrase that. PEOPLE ARE KINKY. Its global problem (or not a problem depending on how you look at it.)Its like we are all just sex-starved maniacs waiting for any opportunity to unleash ourselves (note that I am including myself in this only for the sake of making myself seem like an open and accessible person so that people feel like they can relate to the blog. I am in no way a part of the problem...or not problem).
On to other things...MUNYA! I must confess. The man is still SOL (sex on legs). I'm on the brink of overlooking his *clearing throat* minor transgression on account of how good he looked yesterday. Yum.
But this doesn't mean I can't watch t.v. and I'm telling you my addiction to big brother keeps getting worse each day. Last night the big brother housemates made me feel like the most angelic human in the existence...ai. Especially the women. I'm sure if there was some dude from some other continent watching yesterday he has bought a plane ticket and is on his way to find an African woman. I wish I knew one of those girls so I could go to their houses and see if their relatives are still alive or have died of shock :). The dancing they did was making the t.v. stall. As in even the t.v. didn't want me to see what was going on! But I saw...and I was amazed...and I have come to a conclusion. Everyone in the world is just nasty! A few posts back I said that my people are a kinky lot. I would like to rephrase that. PEOPLE ARE KINKY. Its global problem (or not a problem depending on how you look at it.)Its like we are all just sex-starved maniacs waiting for any opportunity to unleash ourselves (note that I am including myself in this only for the sake of making myself seem like an open and accessible person so that people feel like they can relate to the blog. I am in no way a part of the problem...or not problem).
On to other things...MUNYA! I must confess. The man is still SOL (sex on legs). I'm on the brink of overlooking his *clearing throat* minor transgression on account of how good he looked yesterday. Yum.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Bangover :D
VOTE OF THANKS:I would like to thank Chero for creating the word that is the title of today's blog. It is the most accurate description of what I'm feeling or rather have been feeling since yesterday.
Saturday evening me and some friends decided to go for Battle of the Bands. It was AMAZING! The bands were really good and they did some awesome covers. The music was so catchy that there was no way any normal rocker could sit down so you can guess what happened...MOSHING! I don't really like to mosh 'cause people tend to get carried away but I did dance a lot. How does one dance to rock? Well its basically throwing your head around and air-guitaring coupled with air-drumming. I guess I overdid the head-throwing. I have a serious stiff neck. To look at things I have to turn my whole body. THAT is what Chero accurately named a bangover. Stiff neck induced by serious rocking out... its very irritating but totally worth it. I'd redo Saturday in a heartbeat.
Since I feel compelled to stay true to the angry nature of this blog, I do have a complaint about BoTB. Ok,not the event, the people who attend the event. Kenyans overdo the whole goth/emo thing. Yes it is a rock event but that doesn't mean that you have to go out of your way to look and act strange as hell! Some people develop 'alter-egos' and name themselves after the deities of extinct religions. Now seriously, what does an Aztec god have to do with rock? And the outfits...my God! Most of them come across as gay not goth. I keep wondering who lets these people leave the house looking like Marilyn Manson's estranged African brothers. Eeeew.
Saturday evening me and some friends decided to go for Battle of the Bands. It was AMAZING! The bands were really good and they did some awesome covers. The music was so catchy that there was no way any normal rocker could sit down so you can guess what happened...MOSHING! I don't really like to mosh 'cause people tend to get carried away but I did dance a lot. How does one dance to rock? Well its basically throwing your head around and air-guitaring coupled with air-drumming. I guess I overdid the head-throwing. I have a serious stiff neck. To look at things I have to turn my whole body. THAT is what Chero accurately named a bangover. Stiff neck induced by serious rocking out... its very irritating but totally worth it. I'd redo Saturday in a heartbeat.
Since I feel compelled to stay true to the angry nature of this blog, I do have a complaint about BoTB. Ok,not the event, the people who attend the event. Kenyans overdo the whole goth/emo thing. Yes it is a rock event but that doesn't mean that you have to go out of your way to look and act strange as hell! Some people develop 'alter-egos' and name themselves after the deities of extinct religions. Now seriously, what does an Aztec god have to do with rock? And the outfits...my God! Most of them come across as gay not goth. I keep wondering who lets these people leave the house looking like Marilyn Manson's estranged African brothers. Eeeew.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Let-downs of the week
Firstly I want to apologize to anyone who's been reading my posts and wondering why the hell I have so many typos... I promise to start going through what I write before posting because I seem to keep noticing weird grammatical errors when I read the blog (yes.I read my own work from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. Some of the posts are damn funny!). So...yeah.
On to more pressing issues. I voted today. YEAH!!!!*happy dance* I was so jazzed. I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time. Its like I was pregnant and...no. Wrong analogy. I was just really happy. So I went to the polling station and impacted the outcome of the election. But as you guessed, there's a reason why this is a let-down. After voting they're supposed to colour the tip of your finger so that you can't go back and vote again. I was really looking forward to that. They coloured the effing space between my index and middle finger. SURELY! Now my hand looks positively ridiculous. The dude claimed to have disfigured my hand like that because I have henna on my nails. I DO NOT HAVE HENNA ON MY NAILS! What the hell! It may sound juvenile but these little things matter you know...now I feel like I didn't complete the process.
Let-down number two; Munya from big brother. I hereby declare that the man is no longer sex on legs. After his display of unmanliness he needs to be demoted from that status. I'm not saying men shouldn't cry. They just shouldn't do it when Im looking. There's nothing more disturbing than seeing a grown man cry. In some circumstances its understandable like when someone dies or you lose your job...or your wife is sleeping with your dad...but you cannot cry in front of the whole of Africa because a lady was mean to you and won't let you pee. NKT!
On to more pressing issues. I voted today. YEAH!!!!*happy dance* I was so jazzed. I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time. Its like I was pregnant and...no. Wrong analogy. I was just really happy. So I went to the polling station and impacted the outcome of the election. But as you guessed, there's a reason why this is a let-down. After voting they're supposed to colour the tip of your finger so that you can't go back and vote again. I was really looking forward to that. They coloured the effing space between my index and middle finger. SURELY! Now my hand looks positively ridiculous. The dude claimed to have disfigured my hand like that because I have henna on my nails. I DO NOT HAVE HENNA ON MY NAILS! What the hell! It may sound juvenile but these little things matter you know...now I feel like I didn't complete the process.
Let-down number two; Munya from big brother. I hereby declare that the man is no longer sex on legs. After his display of unmanliness he needs to be demoted from that status. I'm not saying men shouldn't cry. They just shouldn't do it when Im looking. There's nothing more disturbing than seeing a grown man cry. In some circumstances its understandable like when someone dies or you lose your job...or your wife is sleeping with your dad...but you cannot cry in front of the whole of Africa because a lady was mean to you and won't let you pee. NKT!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)